“Positive Discipline”: the fox in the hen house in Christian parenting

temperApparently, I’ve been living under a rock since I became unplugged almost ten years ago.  Somehow, I missed it that the progressive powers-that-be have introduced such dangerous publications as “Positive Discipline” to today’s mothers and fathers.  The key of positive parenting, says the founder, is “no punishment of the child, but rather mutual respect.”  Can you say, “We want to raise a brat!  We want to raise a brat!  Help us raise a brat!”

The particularly disturbing thing about this work, now twenty-five years old and founded by Ms. Jane Nelsen, is that it is being embraced and celebrated by not only secular parents, but those who identify as Christians.   I suppose this is much like the Dr. Spock movement of forty years ago – “Let us all hail Dr. Spock, the expert!”, chanted the parents of the seventies.  How did that work out for you, Mom and Dad?

Now, countless mothers that I have come to know because I am a child caregiver, have fallen prey to this heresy.  Just because this woman has borne seven children doesn’t make her an expert – it makes her a mother, just like me.  And since mothers are commanded by God to seek God in raising up their children (where do we find God’s word?  In the self-help aisle, no?), I would think mothers would be seeking the Bible for answers on child rearing and discipline.

No, they seek the feminist drivel of Ms. Jane Nelson, mother of seven and saleswoman extraordinaire.  I can only imagine the income stream Ms. Nelson enjoys, as she sells $300 training courses to “become a certified positive discipline Parent Educator”.  Nice.

Check out this page where Ms. Nelson describes the “good old days” parenting versus modern parenting.  How can anyone with a truly Christian worldview read this, and not decide it’s worthless at best, heretical at worst?    I am particularly fond of the statement by Ms. Nelson regarding father as authoritarian in the family unit:

Remember when Mom obediently did whatever Dad said, or at least gave the impression she did, because it was the culturally acceptable thing to do? In the good old days few people questioned the idea that Dad’s decisions were final.

Because of the human rights movement, this is no longer true. Rudolf Dreikurs pointed out, “When Dad lost control of Mom, they both lost control of the children.” All this means is that Mom quit giving the children a model of submissiveness. This is progress.Many things about the good old days were not so good.

Wouldn’t it be simpler if we could just read the one Book that will give us all the answers that we need regarding walking through this sometimes challenging and always rewarding season of parenting?

I haven’t yet gained the courage to face Team Woman in rebuking young mothers for reading and instituting this junk within the family, but I pray for the courage to do so.  This teaching is false, erroneous and in my opinion, child abuse and neglect of the worst kind, because it feels good to Mom and sometimes Dad.

This kind of stuff appeals to modern women, I believe, because women have kicked their husbands and the fathers of their children out of any place of authority (as described by the authoress as “progress”), and now they have appointed themselves as experts in child-rearing, independent of any male opinion, and certainly any male authority.  Further, it is the biology of women to be softer, gentler and less authoritarian in discipline style, generally speaking, so this “fluffy” discipline, if that can be said, is tremendously appealing to many, many women today.  They no longer have the positive influence of male authority to balance this gentleness with the children; thus, the children are “positively disciplined”, and as my husband so eloquently spoke, “positively little entitled, democratic brats!”

I have shared elsewhere about the one woman who I did child care for who all but insisted that my husband, whom she knew well, never be left alone with our children (hers and mine) for even thirty minutes.  Seriously, this is how idiotic many mothers believe men are – dangerous and idiotic, not to be trusted, no matter how well you know them.  It’s amazing.  And the men have been so browbeaten by these women, as we well know, that they have simply withdrawn in many instances, in order to avoid the fight.  The entire family suffers because, in the area of parental authority, Mom decided she IS the authority.  After all, the experts said so!

Will you join me in praying for God to open the eyes of his children who are called to raise their children for His glory?  Will you continue to pray for the restoration of the father-led family in America and worldwide?

This is my first blog post in over two years; all are free to comment.  I do ask that you remain mature in conversation, even in disagreement.  Thank you!