Feminine Imperative revisited, the unabridged version

I’m going back to the Beginning on this one; back to Genesis.  Yes, I know we have science now and complex studies of hormones and luteal phases, estrogen, progestin, testosterone balances and things of this nature…but I’m still going back to the Beginning, for therein lies the truth.

In Genesis 1: 26, God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.  V. 27 So God created man in his own image; in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.   He commanded them collectively in his blessing to be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth.  He gave them collectively the responsibility of having dominion over everything upon the earth.

Notice:  He created them in spirit – they are not manifest on the face of the earth yet, as evidenced by Genesis 2:5, wherein it is stated that there was not a man to till the ground. 

In Genesis 2: 7, we see the LORD God formed the man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.  He actually manifested the man first.  There is no mention of him forming the woman from any material substance as of yet.

 Notice: God has not yet called man Adam.  He has not “named” him.

He then places the man in the Garden to dress it and keep it. V. 15   He also gives man the third command (after the dominion mandate and mandate to reproduce that was spoken over the yet un-manifest mankind) in v. 17; and immediately following this command, God decides that it is not good that man be alone, and he decides to make a helper for him (not yet called woman). V. 18.

Notice:  Immediately subsequent to his decision to make a helper for man, God “names” man Adam and his name is mentioned for the first time.  

*edit*:  upon re-reading the scripture, I noticed that Adam is named immediately following God’s command to him not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil; this confirms to me that God is trying to say something about “authority”:  Adam is named subsequent to God’s command about the tree; Eve is named after Adam is given “rule” over her, subsequent to The Fall into sin, as a consequence; a “curse”.    In simple terms, God takes authority over man and names him Adam afterwards; sin enters through woman’s deception, and then God gives Adam authority over woman, and he names her Eve.  Interesting stuff.

God brings every animal and bird to Adam to name, and (I am speculating – so forgive my loose speculation) – God does this for Adam’s benefit, to show him that there isn’t a helper suitable for him amongst God’s created animal and bird kingdom, since God already knows this.

At this point, the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; v. 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.   Immediately upon seeing the woman, Adam declares, This is now flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. V. 23

Notice:  Neither God nor Adam has given woman a name yet; only Adam is named. I believe speaks of  God’s knowledge that Adam will eventually take full authority over his wife as a result of their sin, and thus become her earthly authority, as the one in authority is the one who gives the “name” to a creature.

God speaks of them in a marriage relationship immediately in v.24-25 as one flesh and their own distinct family as man and his wife.

We know what happens next, but permit me to put scriptures to it:

In Genesis 3:1, the first mention of the serpent and his nature is mentioned, and immediately he comes to the woman and tempts her to disobey God.  She is well aware of what God’s command of her and her man is, and recites it perfectly to the serpent.  She is wholly accountable for her obedience or disobedience to God, for she is not in any way ignorant of God’s command.  Regardless of how she learned of the command (from God directly, or from her husband, Adam – who clearly knew the command firsthand from God, she is accountable herself.)

We see that the serpent instantly twists the Word of God to suit his needs and his agenda, and also to deceive the woman.  If he was very “subtil” by nature, according to scripture, he knew who the easy target would be.  All he had to do was tell her what was in it for her – her eyes would be opened and she would be as god – knowing good and evil…and she was in!

She ate it, gave some to her husband (who also ate), and their eyes were indeed opened; they experienced shame in their disobedience unto God.  They hid.  V7. They attempted to cover themselves with something other than the glory of God, which had been their covering prior.

God, of course, knows what has just happened, but he calls unto Adam firstThis begins to shed light on more of God’s created order:  Man is accountable for what happens within his family – he must answer to God for these things, even if individual members of his family are independently sinning.  The buck stops with him in God’s economy.   In his sin, Adam gives himself away and condemns himself.  He immediately blames the woman and God (indirectly, for he says it was God that gave him the woman!); the nearest target.  Odd he doesn’t blame the serpent, but woman doesShe knew she was deceived, but she also knew she had sinned.

Interestingly, God punishes the serpent first, then the woman, and lastly, Adam.

In v. 16, God says to the woman that he will greatly multiply her sorrow and her conception; in sorrow shall she bring forth children; also, her desire will be for her husband, and he shall rule over her.  (my bible also says, or that she will be subject to her husband.)  God does not repeat exactly what the offense of her sin was, as he does with Adam  – he simply declares her punishment.  This is interesting because I believe it is clear to God and the woman that she knows what her sin was:  she knew exactly what God had commanded her NOT to do, and she did it anyway (even though she makes a feeble attempt to cast some blame upon the serpent who beguiled her).  There is no need to point out the sin more specifically to her; it is perfectly clear.

In v. 17, God points out that Adam’s sin has been listening to the voice of his wife (rather than to the voice of God), and subsequently he curses the ground, telling Adam that “in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of they life; v. 18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

v. 19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.  Again, it is interesting that God makes a point to specifically mention to Adam that this punishment is befalling him because he listened to his wife, not as in original relationship to his wife, pre-fall.  His life now becomes toiling for his wages to provide – but this wasn’t so before sin entered in.  God was his provision, as well as Woman’s.

 Notice:  NOW, after The Fall into sin, Adam calls his wife Eve; he names her for the first time, as mother of all living.  This speaks to me of his authority over her; the order that God has now clearly set forth because of their new relationship due to the sin.

God, in his mercy, covers his children in animal skins (a foreshadowing of the sacrifice of the Lamb of God), yet they suffer the full consequence for eating of the Wrong Tree, and they are banished from the Garden forever:  the man was sent forth to till the ground from whence he was taken. V. 23  Man became provider (instead of  God’s provision for both of them in Eden) after the fall, not prior.  Not hard-wiring, ladies and gentlemen.  Not created order.  A result of the fall.  A command of God; he spoke it, and it became so for the man.

Lastly, in Genesis 5: 1-2, again it mentioned that God created of man in the likeness of God; male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.  Interestingly, this brings us full circle back to the day of creation before describing the generations of Adam – the day where God created male and female in spirit, blessed them, gave them a command to be fruitful and multiply, and gave them a command to have dominion.  He spoke these things into their spirit before they were even made manifest in the flesh.

Back to the Feminine Imperative:  after praying, and reading, thinking and meditating upon the words of God in Genesis of the creation story, I am now thoroughly unconvinced that the feminine imperative exists as solely a biological construct within women.  Period.

It sounds nice, in a psychological sort of way, to say that “women were just hard-wired to desire to have babies and lots of them and then make sure their babies are well cared for (which automatically means the women themselves must be well cared for).  That’s  where it begins and ends, though, at least for me:  I don’t care what “science” says, or a bazillion studies of lizard-brain biochemistry say – women are not naturally submissive, not naturally desirous of many children (necessarily), not naturally desirous of selflessly raising a brood of little angels for Jesus (or themselves, for that matter!)…etc. ad nauseum.  It appears to me, from poring over my (almost) favorite three chapters of the Holy Bible once more, that women are sinful, selfish, self-absorbed, self-serving, narcissistic, navel-gazing brute beasts – “naturally”.  Period.  This is due to The Fall into sin.  Not a one of us has escaped.  Only Jews and unbelievers believe infants are born sinless!

Now, I agree to a degree with someone on SSM’s site who commented that there isn’t a Feminine Imperative to ensure survival; only a human imperative.  This is just a drive.  Both men and women desire to procreate because both men and woman possess a strong sex drive – and the natural consequence of a strong sex drive is that babies are going to be born (absent contraception).  BUT:  I wouldn’t say that specifically WOMEN necessarily desire to ensure that they have many babies and enough cash to care for them:  this just can’t be true.

This can’t be true for a number of reasons, but primarily, because God is the one who commanded men and women to be fruitful and multiply.  Why would he need to command this if he knew we would just automatically CHOOSE it every time?  God is also the one who told the woman that in sorrow she would bring forth and raise children, and she would desire her husband but he would rule over her.  Knowing what he meted out in punishment to her, is he going to assume that she is naturally going to desire to have many, many children (which will mean much sorrow – and not just in physical labor!)?  Is he going to assume that she is naturally going to be “hard-wired” to do what is required to submit to a man, even though he hasn’t even inspired Paul to write Ephesians yet?  Do you see where I’m going with this?  There’s no way that an omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent God is going to dole out an unpleasant punishment as part of woman’s consequence for original sin and then “hard-wire” her to desire just the opposite of what he just spoke over her!  He doesn’t change his mind; he doesn’t lie.  He effectively cursed her with an “unpleasant” family life by any modern woman’s standards, yet we are boldly suggesting that he MADE women to “naturally” desire to pop out a Duggar-sized brood of children and “naturally” desire to be the wife that enjoys the Godly suffering of raising them, under the mere human and fallible leadership of another sinful human being called a man?  (Even if she just wants all the little ones without the man, we don’t see women signing up for this in droves, either.)

I am having a tremendously difficult time with that concept.

 Now, obviously this is getting lengthy and I could go on and on, but the gist is this:  the kind of discussion that is going on at SSM’s and elsewhere has been going on since the first man and woman were before God and the devil in the Garden.  “But it was that woman YOU gave me, God!  She’s to blame!” or “Well, I know what I did, God, but it was that nasty, tricky devil the serpent who made me do it!”…and on it goes ad infinitum.

I’ve read the scores of interesting comments on the Feminine Imperative.  I’ve concluded there is not a Feminine Imperative.  There is a Human Drive to Produce Offspring and it is called a Sex Drive, quite simply.  We have complicated it because we have so many “choices” – our eyes were opened when Adam and the woman ate that fruit and we have too many choices now, and it brings confusion just as God knew it would.  We forget that now we have birth control, and abortion and all kinds of things that are just further evidence of the pure selfishness and sinfulness of women at large (sans rebirth in Christ, of course).  If women were “hard-wired” against all else to ensure the survival of their brood and the care thereof, we wouldn’t have so many women killing their offspring without so much as the bat of a pretty little eyelash.  It’s not that woman WANT lots of children; they end up having a number of children (if they are promiscuous) because their strong sex drive results naturally in children!  That certainly doesn’t mean they want to care for them, or even that they want a good man to care for them.  They may wish to sacrifice them to Molech or kill them in the bathtub.  Who knows.  The nature of women is not to desire to ensure many children and the utmost survival thereof – instead, this is a natural consequence of her active sex life.

The nature of men is not to automatically desire the continuation of his genes:  he may end up with fruitfulness and multiplication inadvertently because he has lots of non-contraceptive sex, but I don’t believe for a minute that all men were “hard-wired” to make lots of babies so some of them would survive.  We have men abandoning their children left and right (sorry guys, there are plenty of men who aren’t like the readers here).  We have an entire black community dominated by women in part because the men have no “hard-wired” desire to care for their offspring.  Further again, why would God Almighty have to command him to be fruitful if he was “all in”  in a natural sense?  I call baloney on that one, too.

Tear it apart, readers.  Tear apart my feeble attempt at exegesis of Genesis 1-3, 5.  I am in no way attempting to teach anyone anything, or correct anyone either.  I am just offering up what I have peace with now in my own heart, because the lack of peace about the matter drove me to my little black bible again.  This is what has given me peace:  the Feminine Imperative does not exist.   For as long as there have been women (and men), women (and men) have been selfish, self-seeking people without rebirth in God through Jesus Christ.  This is all I see:  selfish, self-seeking women acting as we should expect unregenerate women to act.  This includes women in the church; the Churchian women who believe they are “saved” but will hear “depart from Me, I never knew you” on judgement day if they don’t get to a place of repentance.  That’s why I write these things; for the sake of the one woman who might wake up because of what I write, if indeed she ever sees it.

The Feminist Imperative (if you wish to call the Feminine Imperative by this name) most definitely exists as a social construct, and we all know who is behind the scenes – he’s been hissing at Woman for all of this time; he’s still busy talking in her ear.

Did you notice that even Adam didn’t blame him?  He went for his wife first – throwing her under the bus.  Maybe we should try something differently…

 

Social Media married sweeties and bff : )

A question for all the husbands out there:

 

Do you enjoy it when your wife publicly writes little sweet-nothings on your social media page/Facebook wall/other public internet venue (blog, etc.)?  Not to dampen the Holiday Cheer in the atmosphere, but I keep coming across wives writing things such as  the following to their husbands, daily:

  • I love you so much, sweetheart, thanks for being my bff  🙂

 

  • So blessed to be married to my bf!

 

  • Oh, Babe, love you sooo much.  thanks for being my bf.  I miss you, darling.  You are amazing!

 

  • Hon – you are such a blessing!  You are SO Loved!

 

Do you like this, men of the ‘sphere?  Am I missing something?  Should I be doing this for my husband?  I’m sorry…I find this kind of thing to be more appropriate for a mother toward a young child, or a girl toward a girlfriend.

Thoughts?  Wives, are you DOING this?  Is it affirming to your husband?  Does he tell you he is glad you are doing it?

Blessings,

songtwoeleven

Feliz Navidad

Sometimes I like to pretend I am still a South-Texas native…

 

 

Merry Christmas, Y’all…

From the Frozen Land of Cheese!

 

Blessings!

 

songtwoeleven

 

Sonador

It is high noon; ladies tea time.  I’m the invited guest speaker at the local ladies’ Bible luncheon, and the clock is ticking toward my introduction.  Beads of sweat are forming and pooling inside my clothing.  A flush rises across my cheeks as anxiety tries to overtake me.  I wait nervously aside the President of the Ladies’ Bible Covenant Group, silently and desperately praying.

White tablecloths are ironed and laid strategically across enough tables to seat our entire congregation; the setting is instead our local Country Club.  Prim wait staff attends to the final preparations as the all-female guest list begins to arrive:  floral table arrangements are checked and misted, water glasses are filled to the rim, the volume of the music is adjusted.  Ladies are seated, with the most socially influential and wealthiest at the head table. 

A well-known town surgeon’s wife speaks of the difficulty of finding a sitter for this event for her two small children; she’s had to ask her husband to babysit!  What a challenge it was to get him to sacrifice his golf game for her and the children.  All the other women are aghast.  This had better be worth it, they mutter to one another.  Who is speaking, anyway?  We didn’t get any word of the keynote speaker in the invitation; but the book she is speaking on sure was a winner with Oprah.  This ought to be a blessing.

Waldorf Chicken Salad accompanied with Minted Fresh Fruit Medley is served and consumed by chatting women.  Dishes are whisked away, and hot coffee and tea are served.  The smells of comfort and fellowship and home waft through the atmosphere, yet I feel as far from home and fellowship as I possibly could. 

Little does the President know that I have failed her assignment.  I have failed to complete the “required reading” of the latest approved ladies’ ministry publication – a book by a well-known Christian wife and minister – which was to be the topic of my speech at the Covenant Group luncheon today.  As I stand there listening to the sheer volume of voices chatting, waiting to hear what I have to say about the work of their revered Christian author, I wonder if I shouldn’t just tell the President that I did not read the ridiculous book.  I wonder if I have the courage to tell her why I didn’t read the book:  because it is false teaching, and dangerous to the women’s souls who would read it and take it into their minds.  It becomes impossible; I am paralyzed with fear of the repercussions.  I am a man-pleaser instead of a God pleaser; shame begins to creep over me.

The President confidently strides toward the gilded podium for my introduction.  Applause erupts from the audience as I quietly step across the platform and toward the podium.  The hot gaze of a thousand eyes falls upon me as they wait for my words.  I silently cry out to my heavenly Father for courage one last time before I open my mouth – He has promised to fill my mouth with words, hasn’t He?  I inhale deeply as the blinding stage lights illuminate my countenance.

I do not open the book by the well-known Christian wife and minister.  Instead, I slowly open the pages of my worn, black pocket Bible…

 

Suddenly, my infant daughter cries out beside me and my smart phone alarm clock resounds with the bridge from How Great is Our God.  My husband turns on the soft nightlight.  I try to catch my breath.

 

It has all been a dream.

Often when I have dreams like this, I write them down so they are easily remembered.  This is the first time I’m writing this one down, because it remains so vivid in my mind.  If there is anything I can say about it, ladies, it is this:  read your own Bible.  Read your own Bible before you read any other woman’s “ministry” publication(s).  I had a dear friend once who was a Titus II mentor to me, back in South Texas.  She was wife to a youth minister and mother to one infant at the time, and I often babysat for her.  Her husband had a rule:  she could buy a new bible once she read through her old one from cover to cover, and he didn’t mean in a “One Year Bible for Women” format!  He wanted her to actually k-n-o-w what it is that she just read.

At the risk of sounding highly offensive to other women, I will say that we women are very easily swayed by ear-tickling doctrines, especially if they are presented in pretty pink packages,  sold as “empowering for balancing your busy life” and “helpful to your personal relationship with Jesus”, and written by other women who are also be wives and mothers.   Just because a book says “Approved Godly Ministries” on the front does NOT mean that it is aligned entirely with scripture!

My best advice is to show the books, authoresses and ministries you are considering purchasing or reading to your husband.  It’s not that he has “better and more finely tuned” discernment spiritually speaking – it’s that he can likely see through the baloney the “minister” is trying to push, which is not biblical advice for women, if it does exist.  For instance, let’s look at Lysa Terkeurst, president of Proverbs 31 Ministries, and author of fourteen books.

Mrs. Terkeurst is married and a mother, and has some serious sin in her past, of which she has repented. (Dont’ we all?)  She claims to be intent upon teaching women how to:

  • Increase the creative romance with your husband.
  • Embolden your husband to confidently overcome challenges.
  • Build a deeper level of life-long trust in your relationship.
  • Understand how God empowers and protects your marriage.

 

She even shares a seemingly beautiful “blessing” to be spoken over married couples.  Let’s take a look at that blessing, though:

Now you’ve seen it in its entirety, but I want to focus on a particular portion of the blessing.  The two paragraphs where Mrs. Terkeurst speaks to husbands, and then to wives:

Bless this husband, ______. Bless him as provider and protector. Sustain him in all the pressures that come with the task of stewarding a family. May his strength be his wife’s boast and pride, and may he so live that his wife may find in him the haven for which the heart of a woman truly longs.

 

Bless this wife, ______. Give her a tenderness that makes her great, a deep sense of understanding, and a strong faith in You. Give her that inner beauty of soul that never fades, that eternal youth that is found in holding fast to the things that never age. May she so live that her husband may be pleased to reverence her in the shrine of his heart.

 

Sounds good, yes?  Really?  She blesses the husband as provider and protector.  A God-given role, no doubt.  Also biblical as steward of the family (though I think steward may be a bit weak – shouldn’t she use Leader?  A woman can also be a “steward” of the family).  She mentions his masculine strength, but then she all but negates it by making his strength all about HER!

On to the wife:  Tenderness is good, as well as understanding and faith.  Inner beauty is nice (didn’t Mary mention something about inner beauty recently?), as is faith in God.  Eternal youth will please any husband.  But here’s what clinched it for me:  may she live so that HE is pleased to reverence HER (in the shrine of his heart).

 Could you please show me where the Bible says that HE is commanded to reverence HER?  Seems Mrs. Terkeurst has the order of scripture reversed here.  No other mention is made of submission or respect of one’s husband, but “romance” is mentioned often in her writings and speaking materials.  Going to “marriage conferences” (no doubt those sponsored by Proverbs 31 Ministries) is on her list for making marriage work.  Oh, and reading marriage books together (hers, I’m sure).

He gets to be “provider/protector/pressured ‘steward'”  and she gets to be REVERENCED by her husband!

No, thank you.

 Now, there is balance to be had here; I am not saying that we must not ever read anything other than The Holy Bible.  I am not even a King James Only girl!  However, please, ladies:  use wisdom and discernment and pray before you pile up “Christian” literature to “help” you and your marriage.  It has been my experience that some of these things actually do more harm than good, by entertaining Christian feminist thoughts and by twisting scripture to benefit wives.  I know women whose bookshelves are literally LINED with anything approved by Focus on the Family, or Proverbs 31, or Moody Bible Publishing…all of it laden with egalitarian marriage models and errant doctrine.

Additionally, do you really want your marriage advice and your Titus II mentorship coming from a woman who has over forty paid speaking engagements per year, is busy writing books all the time and traveling for her “high calling” and HER “ministry” (yes, she calls it HER ministry), or do you want your Titus II mentorship coming from a wife and mother who is truly walking IN her high calling as wife and mother:  a woman who is in the trenches, day in and day out, with her husband and her children, serving their needs above her own (or those of HER ministry?)

Selah.

Blessings!

songtwoeleven

Little Shop of (anti-feminist) Horrors…

 steve martin lsh

In this article from the Seattle Times, we read that a married Iowa dentist was within his legal rights as a business owner to fire his assistant because she was “irresistible.”  Apparently, the Iowa Supreme Court was privileged to hear the case, and ruled in favor of dentist James Knight, stating that this had nothing to do with gender discrimination and everything to do with seeing the female assistant as an “irresistible attraction.”

“Such firings may be unfair, but they are not unlawful discrimination under the Iowa Civil Rights Act because they are motivated by feelings and emotions, not gender,” Justice Edward Mansfield wrote.

I absolutely love this!   As soon as the all-male Supreme Court made public their ruling, the Feminazi lawyer for the plaintiff was waiting in the wings to discredit it, based upon the men just “not understanding” how poor, wittle wimminz are already so tewribbwy discriminated against in the workplace!

“These judges sent a message to Iowa women that they don’t think men can be held responsible for their sexual desires and that Iowa women are the ones who have to monitor and control their bosses’ sexual desires,” said attorney Paige Fiedler. “If they get out of hand, then the women can be legally fired for it.”

Let me see if I understand:  this woman, Ms. Nelson, who had worked for Dr. Knight (and his wife who also worked in her husband’s office) for a decade, refused to take heed to Dr. Knight’s very straightforward warnings that her dress was inappropriate for the office environment.  Ms. Nelson, a married woman with children, continued to wear this “irresistible” attire to the office of Dr. Knight, and eventually, the two began texting each other.  Surprise!

Then, when Mrs. Knight discovers the texts being exchanged between her husband and Ms. Nelson, she demands that Ms. Nelson be fired immediately.  Dr. and Mrs. Knight even confer with their pastor, who counsels them to terminate Ms. Nelson.  Sounds logical thus far, correct?

No!  Rages the feminist lawyer.  You can’t do that to a WOMAN!  Just because she is a WOMAN!  Let’s not forget:  she’s a WOMAN!  Oh, it doesn’t matter that the remainder of Dr. Knight’s staff is composed entirely of women – this must mean that Dr. Knight HATES women!  This is the flavor of what came out of the mouth of Ms. Nelson’s lawyer.

Apparently, Paige Fielder doesn’t believe that women should have any personal accountability in the workplace.  It should all fall upon men –  even if a female employee decides to dress like a woman of the night in the workplace, in full view of her boss (who has told her in very blunt terms that it is inappropriate):

But in the final months of her employment, he (Dr. Knight) complained that her tight clothing was distracting, once telling her that if his pants were bulging that was a sign her clothes were too revealing, according to the opinion.

Oh, I see.  She is not responsible for how she dresses, but Dr. Not-a-White-Knight is responsible for getting aroused (a physiological response) if she dresses like a whore.  Okay.

Further, he is responsible if she “seduces” him emotionally in his own office, in full view of his wife working there, by way of her dress and physical appearance.  Shame on him.  He should have known better than to be a…Man.

seymour-little-shop-of-horrors-21344771-120-120

As far as I am concerned, this is victory for men everywhere (particularly in Iowa!).  I find it absolutely refreshing that an all-male group of influential members of legislature have taken a firm stand against classifying every little thing that occurs in the workplace with a woman as “gender discrimination.”

May they inspire more men to act accordingly, unafraid of the female verbal backlash.

Blessings!

songtwoeleven

Do you hear what I hear? ‘Tis the sound of Freedom!

Yesterday at approximately 1800 CST,  I put the pedal to the metal (yes, I was born in 1970) and gunned my vehicle with our children up the forty-five degree driveway of my now Previous Employer!

Thank you, Jesus, for RELEASE!

(Though God taught me and my husband a great deal during this season…)

More about this later; it might help some ladies (and gentlemen) when walking through a season like this.

Blessings!

songtwoeleven

Snotta-palooza

Sorry, no new posts yet…and none on the horizon.  We have been knee-deep in baby snot…but thank GOD!  My husband and I have been spared the horror of contracting the pathogen ourselves.  Thank  you, Jesus…Thank you, Jesus…

Lots and lots of thoughts and drafts.  When time permits, God willing, I will start pouring them out on here once more.  Thank you to all those who lurk, comment, visit and read.

I’ve got two days of “work” left – and then – (you will know when this occurs, because the Alleluia Chorus will audibly resound in your very living room) – it will be infinitely simpler for me to write a blog post.  Thank you, Jesus, for Your release from what has been seemingly more than You had ever asked me to do at a job.

Please pray for healing for our children, and strength and peace for me and my husband as we prepare for our across-the-state move.  Today we got word that our new place is approved and ready, but the amount of money that they want for our cat deposit (yes, my husband is The Cat Man of the Midwest with five of them) is astounding.  He will not conceive of letting them go, as they are family, and so we are thinking through and praying about what to do about this place – do we pay the hefty fee, or do we look for a less rigid place that has fewer amenities?  What to do…

I feel thankful and grateful that if this is my only “issue” – I must be blessed.

 

Blessings to all of you!

 

Talk soon!

 

songtwoeleven

A Time to Mourn

I join SunshineMary of The Woman and The Dragon in suggesting that we take this afternoon and evening as a quiet time to pray and mourn for those precious children and  families affected by the school shooting this morning.  There is little to say, as I am stunned and deeply saddened by the killings.

May God be the Comforter to all those affected, and especially those who lost children.

Blessings to all readers,

songtwoeleven

When stressful times morph your strong Christian husband into….Agent Smith

“Behold, I have created the blacksmith Who blows the coals in the fire, Who brings forth an instrument for his work; And I have created the spoiler to destroy.  – Isaiah 54: 16

 Matrix_Agents

There are many articles and blog posts from good, Christian wives instructing other women on submission to Christian husbands.  It is often assumed that this material is aimed at teaching women whose husbands are actively following the Lord Jesus Christ, engaged in regular reading of the Bible and personal bible study, and actively engaged in a vibrant prayer life with the Lord.  Since many posts are written toward this end, it is generally unmentioned that these “good, strong, Bible-reading, Leading Men” of Christian wives and families CAN, and often DO, get overtaken in the struggles of daily life – and become very difficult to live with for a season!

Even the strongest Christian man, leader and father is still simply another human being.  A human being with frailties and a Blind Side just like the rest of humanity.  It is imperative that we not only teach women how to love and follow and submit to their strong believing husbands when all is well…but that we also teach women how to gird up their husbands in prayer and love them, follow them and continue to submit to them – when they don’t look like Christian husbands to us at all.

Anyone reading this blog is likely to be familiar with Agent Smith of the film, The Matrix.  The license plate of Agent Smith is indicative of a reference to Isaiah 54:16, written above.  Sometimes, well-meaning, loving, dedicated and strong leaders – men of God – are morphed from this state into a state of confusion brought about by the enemy of our souls.  At times like these, we wives may be extremely confused, hurt and even depressed – wondering why our loving husband suddenly acts like the enemy.  Our husbands may say things they do not mean in anger (not aimed at us) and frustration with circumstances; they may be short-tempered.  They may be lacking severely in “fruits of the Spirit” and they may be displaying the polar opposite of every loving characteristic mentioned in The Love Chapter of 1 Corinthians 13.   They may resort to behaviors long since abandoned:  drinking too much, spending more time on themselves than with you or the children, withdrawing and not speaking.  They may speak abusively and harshly.

It can be awfully difficult to love, honor and submit to someone acting like Agent Smith (temporarily).  If you recall from The Matrix, however, there were times when Agent Smith took over someone’s persona and they had absolutely no knowledge of such: they were blinded and totally deceived.

Ladies, it is absolutely necessary that we remain in obedience to the Word of God on all matters as wives, even if our husbands are temporarily acting like Smiths.  We must take this opportunity to allow the Holy Spirit to work in our own hearts, and upon our own character:  we must allow the Blacksmith to blow upon the fire that rages in our marital circumstances, and remain a good witness for a Christian and a wife to our own husbands, our children, and other women who are watching and trying to learn.  Not a one of us is perfect this side of heaven, but we must lean on Jesus to keep us afloat and obedient as wives when chaos seems to reign in our husband’s life.

Here are a few helpful suggestions for ladies who are struggling with stressed-out Christian husbands, although this can certainly apply to wives of husbands who are “backslidden” entirely and not at all serving Christ at this time:

  • It is of utmost importance that you remain humble during these times.  Remember, your husband has likely put up with you being short, rude, disrespectful, uncaring, sexually selfish, generally selfish, and emotionally unstable and the like at some point during your relationship.  Remember that you must not wear “rose colored glasses” when looking at yourself and a bifocal readers when looking at HIM!  You must apply humility and realize that you have good points and serious flaw just like he does.
  • Prayer is imperative.  Let it not be just “Lord, make my husband behave himself!” prayers, but rather prayers that allow and ask God to change YOUR heart toward your husband, and ask God for more love and more respect for this man who is your husband.  Also, of course, prayers to strengthen your husband and shield him from any attack of the enemy are worthy and necessary.
  • Keeping a comfortable home and preparing comforting meals on time can bring peace to his state of temporary chaos.  Just make sure to ask him what he prefers especially frequently during these times, as he can be very sensitive about seemingly unimportant matters such as what’s for dinner.
  • Keeping a clean home and disciplined children is very important.  Undisciplined children can be more chaos than he knows what to do with.  Try quiet activities and follow your husband’s lead: you may be trying to keep children away from him, when he truly wants more time with them to distract him and bring him joy!
  • Keep yourself sexy.  We all know what this means, ladies.  It is particularly easy to fall prey to the enemy’s scam toward YOU when your husband is acting strangely, and begin to think that you will “show him!” by lounging around in robe and slippers with Ponds face cream on all day…DON’T!  Try to at least do one thing that is pleasing to him visually with your appearance, even if you are stressed-out as well!
  • If he wants to have sex, have sex.  Again, we all know what God has to say about this.  Now, before I get blasted for saying that a woman should agree to have sex while she’s totally resentful and angry:  GET OVER IT.  Sex can bring healing to these emotions if a woman will allow (within marriage).  Of course, if your husband is insanely drunk and not capable of having sex, even though he wants it – I would personally not refuse in this instance and hope for the best.  I think it goes without saying that sex can relieve stress for our husbands and bond them to us again; further, God is all for it.  It’s NEVER abusive to give sex to your husband.  Obviously, if he is truly hurting you – say “ouch!” and let him know.  He doesn’t want to hurt you.  He can then adjust things.
  • Avoid the temptation to speak ugly things to him in return, or to engage in battle with him.  If he’s picking a fight over things long since resolved, saying less is saying more.  Remember we are called to live quiet lives before our husbands with gentle spirits.  We are called to respect his POSITION as husband even if we do not temporarily respect his BEHAVIOR or actions toward us.  This too shall pass, and you don’t want to add fuel to a fire.  If you have a temper, or are prone to “reacting” to him when he’s angry or short with you – this is your opportunity to allow God to mature your tongue and your own character.
  • Do not take things that he says or things that he does personally.  Women are relational and we are most impacted by our marriage relationship/family relationship if something is awry.  Reject the temptation to take things personally if your husband is stressed; he needs you to be a soft landing spot, not someone he has to hold together as well as himself!  He has enough on his plate.  Put on your big girl panties, ladies.  You are women of God, not little girls playing house.  Be his support – love him through this time.  Give him space to breathe without him having to worry about your emotions!
  • Resist the urge to call ANYONE to complain about your husband or cast him in a bad light.  We are called to make him look GOOD at the city gates.  Always.  Talk to Jesus about your weakness and frustration, and if you need truly pure prayer, call your Titus II mentor and no one else.

 

Hopefully this helps us to keep our focus on what we need to work on in ourselves, and maintain our focus on Jesus during times of trial and hardship in our husband’s lives.  Before long, through prayer and strength in the Holy Spirit, your husband will overcome the enemy and be better for it, more equipped than ever!  Practice forbearance with your husband during his times of stress and Smiths!

Isaiah 43:2

English Standard Version (ESV)

2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;

when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,

    and the flame shall not consume you.

 

Blessings!

a poem to share

Three chapters of Genesis and Titus two?

Why, that’s Testament Old AND Testament New!

Those words aren’t for us, Babe, the times-they have changed…

Women and men, our roles re-arranged.

So, stop asking for sexy, ‘cause I’ve got to rest…

I’ve no energy left, my JOB gets my best!

You say you want chicken with Mac and with cheese?

No time for that, Love, I’ve a Boss to appease.

Do the dishes real tidy now, won’t you my Honey?

I’ll be home quite late, why, I’ve got to earn money!

Yes, I earned quite a bit and how I’d love to share,

But this morning I gave every bit to Day Care!

One income won’t do in our cities today;

The God of the Bible we have cast away…

After all, He can’t possibly do what He said,

And provide & make sure that our families are fed

Through the hard work & discipline of good, humble men

Who follow Him, wanting to cast aside sin.

What folly to think that somehow He faltered –

The plans for our genders, somehow He altered –

I’m making a plea and I hope you do read,

If you want dual incomes, it’ll cost you indeed…

But if it’s a helpmeet you want as your Bride,

I’ll be right there with you, standing firm by your side.