Women: The Wardens of Retail…


My husband works predominantly within retail locations in outside sales and marketing with his business.  He is accustomed to husband’s desires to purchase one of his products or services being overridden by overly aggressive wives who clearly wear the pants in the family, so to speak…but today’s event takes the cake.

A man decided to purchase a service my husband was offering; a service that would save a lot of money for this man and his family.  Thus, the man began to make the purchase, and then suddenly declared, “Oh, I have to talk to my wife.”  Uh oh.

He returned, sans wife, literally cursing his wife in front of my husband!  Cursing his wife, out loud, in a retail facility, to my husband, another man, because she said “no” – this man was utterly defeated, totally emasculated and feeling like a trapped lion or a prisoner of his own making in being married to this woman, and then going and ASKING her permission!

In any event, my husband had never seen anything like this before in all his experience with the public.  We both agreed when I spoke to him on the phone that this particular husband should have made the money-saving purchase anyway, and told his wife that he did it, and she could just deal with it.  After all, what’s she going to do to him?  Castrate him further?  Leave him (God help him, it might be a blessing!)?  Cancel his purchase made in his name only?

We once had a friend, long since divorced, who used to refer to his wife as The Warden.  I have decided that women are now The Wardens of retail…nobody makes a purchase without their express consent…


What has your experience been, husbands?  Are you free to make purchases without your wife’s “consent?”  Do you invite this kind of frustration by asking for permission to buy things that are actually a bargain?  Have you seen other men experiencing this kind of public Lorena-Bobbitting?  Ladies, have you seen this in public?  Is this unusual where you live, or the norm?


10 thoughts on “Women: The Wardens of Retail…

  1. I’ve always been somewhat glad that I never married, if for no other reason than I didn’t tie myself down to some harpy shrew. But since I tripped over the manosphere this summer and read many more stories like this, I’ve never been so glad to be single in my life.

    ste: I totally understand. My husband was engaged to a particular woman, a Christian Fembot Deluxe Model II, and when he now speaks of the engagement, he says he “escaped from what would have been Alcatraz.”

  2. I’ve noticed as well that sometimes when 7man and I are out at a restaurant, the waitress will look at me while she rattles off the specials and ignore him. I find that uncomfortable and kind of annoying. The implication is clear and that’s just not how we roll. No doubt having him order for me seems weird to them. Usually we just share a single entrée anyway since the portions are so huge, so there’s really no need for me to order anything. He gets my input and then orders, or I just say “you choose” since it’s unlikely he’s going to order something I won’t like (and I’m not overly fussy anyway). I like it when he orders and the statement that makes about the order of our relationship – little things matter; it’s kind of like having the man at the head of the table.

    And this is just for something fairly inconsequential, not power of decision making over every little purchase. If we’re talking a major purchase, discussion is good, but a man asking his wife’s permission is ridiculous either way. I wonder if these women even consult their husbands everytime they blow $100 (or more) on a new pair of shoes. Unfortunately, the woman-in-charge thing is deeply ingrained in our culture at this stage.

    • Funny that you mention the waitress. My boyfriend and i are not from the US but have been there several months ago for a vacation. Naturally we ate at a lot of restaurants and he mentioned several times that he has the feeling that the waitresses seem to constantly ignore him and that they were fixated on me. I thought he was just overly sensitive, but now that you wrote about it, i have to say he was right.
      They always asked me first what i wanted to order, and everytime i asked my boyfriend to order first. The looks i got ranged from complete horror to approval, depending where we were…
      But can anyone explain to an ignorant non-US citizen why the waitresses behaved like that in the first place?

      ste: Freckled, thanks for visiting and commenting; welcome! Men are generally treated with disrespect and disdain in public (and private) spheres in the US, with emphasis on WOMEN treating men poorly. Hang around the manosphere long enough; you will get the flavor. Where are you from?

      • Hi, thank you for your reply. I’m from Germany (the southern part to be more precise). I read several blogs from the manosphere and, yes, sometimes i got the feeling that they were a bit extreme in their opinion of women in general. But then i read the feminist sites and literally recoiled in terror. The hatred for men there is unbelievable. Those who believe in political correctness to the extreme disregard common courtesy to everything male in general. After that i had to agree with most of the things i read about on manosphere blogs. Sadly, most men there think the solution to the feminist problem in the US is to marry a foreign woman, especially those from Eastern Europe because of their feminine behavior.
        At least now i know that my boyfriend wasn’t paranoid in thinking the waitresses and sales staff in general liked me better than him. I hope your move is coming along smoothly and you can enjoy christmas at least a bit. Thank you for your wonderful blog.

      • Thank you for your well wishes regarding Christmas and The Move! It is coming along; it is a process, but we will get there! Hope your holidays are blessed as well. Thanks again for reading and commenting; I do hope to post more regularly after the holidays and The Move.

  3. The fact that the wife didn’t show herself, but stayed out of view or in the background far enough that he could come back cursing her, shows that somewhere in her heart she knows this is beyond embarrassing.

    ste: yes! I did not think of that aspect, but clearly the wife is ashamed of her behavior.

  4. Just tonight a new watch I had bought for myself came in the mail. I paid all of……20 dollars for it (it was a special from Groupon). My wife got upset because “I already have a fully functional watch” and asked me to return it. I simply told her ‘no’. She asked again. I told her ‘no’ again. She is going to be a tough one to bring around…..

    ste: Welcome! I think a lot of wives have placed themselves in the position of Mama to their unfortunate husbands. Good for you with saying no!

  5. “Let me ask my wife” is so socially normal it’s absurd. On the flip side, if I say “let me ask my husband”, folks give me the look of “oh you poor, downtrodden, oppressed woman.”

    • Is “let me ask my wife?” really normal everywhere? I guess back when I was still living in my home state of Texas, I didn’t hear it. Of course, this was a while back. I was truly shocked when I moved: this was part of the culture shock for me; watching grown men ask Mommy-Their-Wife for permission for a thirty dollar purchase! Now it’s “Look how much John honored Mary when they got married! He took HER last name!” Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

      Yes, I get strange looks and reactions when I say, “Let me ask my husband.” When I was still in sales, they even told us to go with the woman making the decision if she was with it – don’t even think about letting her “go ask her husband” – because, “Women ARE the household decision-makers now” (said the Trainer).

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